started three very labor-intensive businesses. She was busy working most of the time, even though her father would give her money from her trusts whenever she wanted it. She felt she should be successful in business too. Sometimes her friends asked her, "Why do you work so hard? You don't have to work at all." She didn't really have an answer, except to say that she wanted to. What she told me was that she felt pressured to work hard, and she recognized that the pressure came from within herself. She was hoping to ease up on it, but she didn't know how.

Professional observations: Sometimes daughters as well as sons feel driven by their father's big shadow to work as hard as he did (or does), and this pressure may be coming entirely from within. Often, inheritors believe they must do everything better than anyone else. After all, they've been given a big leg-up in life with all their opportunities and wealth. Surely, they think, the cynics of the world would need greater proof from them than from everyone else that they are worthwhile people.

Trying to provide that proof, and always failing to live up to your own impossible standards, is one of the darkest corners of the dark side of wealth.


My inspiration to write this book came from different challenges than the ones presented in these stories. For years, I had been drawn into conversations at parties, on airplanes, during my children's sporting events, virtually everywhere I met new people, with the conversational gambit, "So, what do you do?" And my reaction was always the same.

Immediately, I'd ascertain what time it was and determine how soon I could finish talking with this individual while remaining civil. If I had no time, I'd simply reply, "Mainly, I'm a mom. I have two young children." If I had a few moments to spare and felt there was a reason to impart the nature of my profession, I'd add, "I'm also a psychotherapist, and I help people with the challenges of wealth." Then I'd leave some space for the person to make a bit of sense out of my morsel of information

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